The time has come. I have wasted enough time, though I can feel and see God's hand at work in this time that has passed. Perhaps it is merely TIME now, as opposed to a mistake. Does not God fashion us in his Time, honing us to perfection in the right moment?
My family is not falling apart, and yet it feels misshapen. My wife is in the doldrums and I am blazing ahead, but... I have lost the respect of my family, if I ever had it. When I consider my own mother and father, and my siblings, I see that I do not want the respect of fear from my family, whether it be fear of disappointment or fear of retribution. I want the respect that God desires of me. I do not want the same amount or level as God; I am not so full of hubris. But I want the same flavour. Respect borne out of love, devotion, and appreciation for the position I have in my family. But God earned his position through his love for us, by his creation and sacrifice and ever-lasting care. So how am I to earn my family's respect now?
The only guide I have, the best one, really, is the Saviour himself. First, he sacrificed everything: his exalted position, his life, his time. He surrendered his entire being to God first, and through that surrender to his people. Second, by surrendering himself to his Father, he set the example for us, his beloved children, in how one is to live life. This I must do. This I will do.
It is small and petty, and almost unworthy of mention, but I have surrendered my online gaming accounts to everything. I do not have the time to devote to be any good at them, really, and what worth are they when I am dead and gone? Who that I truly admire as men and women of God spend their time in such a pursuit? So if I am to be respected, must I follow in their example. It is TIME.
Time to truly devote myself to God. Time to spend time where the time God created is worth being spent. Time to write, time to correspond, time to spend with people, time to invest in people. Time to invest in my children, and in my wife, and in my community. Time to be who I was made to be, and settle for nothing else. How much TIME I have wasted... No, not wasted. Although the slough of clay off a potter's wheel is unused and tossed out, it had to be there to remove in the first place. It is simply time.
I will be writing more often, pouring time into useful pursuits. I hope it will be of use to you.
My family is not falling apart, and yet it feels misshapen. My wife is in the doldrums and I am blazing ahead, but... I have lost the respect of my family, if I ever had it. When I consider my own mother and father, and my siblings, I see that I do not want the respect of fear from my family, whether it be fear of disappointment or fear of retribution. I want the respect that God desires of me. I do not want the same amount or level as God; I am not so full of hubris. But I want the same flavour. Respect borne out of love, devotion, and appreciation for the position I have in my family. But God earned his position through his love for us, by his creation and sacrifice and ever-lasting care. So how am I to earn my family's respect now?
The only guide I have, the best one, really, is the Saviour himself. First, he sacrificed everything: his exalted position, his life, his time. He surrendered his entire being to God first, and through that surrender to his people. Second, by surrendering himself to his Father, he set the example for us, his beloved children, in how one is to live life. This I must do. This I will do.
It is small and petty, and almost unworthy of mention, but I have surrendered my online gaming accounts to everything. I do not have the time to devote to be any good at them, really, and what worth are they when I am dead and gone? Who that I truly admire as men and women of God spend their time in such a pursuit? So if I am to be respected, must I follow in their example. It is TIME.
Time to truly devote myself to God. Time to spend time where the time God created is worth being spent. Time to write, time to correspond, time to spend with people, time to invest in people. Time to invest in my children, and in my wife, and in my community. Time to be who I was made to be, and settle for nothing else. How much TIME I have wasted... No, not wasted. Although the slough of clay off a potter's wheel is unused and tossed out, it had to be there to remove in the first place. It is simply time.
I will be writing more often, pouring time into useful pursuits. I hope it will be of use to you.
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