Being a Father

I spoke to an acquaintance yesterday about the child we are adopting.  This acquaintance is about my age, single, works where I do with a parallel job so he makes a little more than I do.  But while he has himself to support, I support my wife and three kids.  He was appalled that we would think to adopt another.  He couldn't see how I supported my present family, much less go through an adoption with its accompanying costs and future support needs, on my salary.
  We talked about our students, too.  I spoke of a particular student who had been absent a lot, how I had asked about her sickness.  The curious thing my acquaintance said was, "Well, your idea of a father must be very different from mine."  He went on to describe how his father would lay down the law and you did as you were told.  I explained that while my father had some similarities to that concept, I felt that I owed my children and my students something a little different.  No one would even begin to think that I went easy on my kids (by birth or by occupation).  I have earned the reputation for being a demanding and exacting teacher.  But I also hope that my kids see the other side too, where I am there to support and encourage them to be the best God made them to be.  I think they do, most of the time.  Except for those who call me evil.
  And yet, I think I fail most of the time.  Perhaps I take myself too seriously, or think too much of my place in their lives.  Unfourtunately, no one really knows how I am doing, including myself, until we see the result.  I always say I am more interested in where my kids end up (10, 20 years down the road) than how they do tomorrow.  God lays such convoluted paths for us that no one really knows where they will be.  As Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow.  Today has enough trouble of its own."
   So why do I think I fail?  Well, according to short-term results, and some long-term.  My own children are focused in the wrong direction, talking more about Tolkien, Harry Potter, and Greek mythology than the true Lord and Saviour they have pledged to.  They whine and complain and bicker more than any children I know.  And as a leader, I fail my wife.  She has trouble being satisfied with what she has and hungers for better.  This is not the family of a man guided and dedicated to God.
  And yet...David was a man after God's own heart, and his family was in shambles.  He wrote psalms we still sing, solidified a nation, killed a giant, all through his dedication to God.  He also stole sacred bread from the temple, murdered Uriah, and married his mistress Bathsheba.  And yet...a man after God's own heart.
  When my daughter was very young, I would kneel by her bedside and pray.  As a young father, it was very apparent that my daughter would make her own choices, and while I could affect those the choices were hers to make.  To obey or fight.  To love or strike.  To plug her ears or to listen.  To be humble or proud.  As a teacher and older father, nothing has changed.  The choices of good and evil still lie before my children and I can only influence their choices.  I can do no more.
  Maybe that is what made David a man of God.  Not that he did what was right (apparently), but that his heart was in God's hand.  And when he sinned, he expected judgement and accepted it.  He recognized God for who he is and did not fight him.
  Lord, grant me patience and a desire for your heart.  Father, teach me to be hopeful as you are for us, never failing in my love for my children.  Holy Spirit, work in the lives of my dear ones.  Work your miracles that we may meet in the sky and finally be at peace.